Generally I like to revolve my entries around a particular theme. It's been a long week and I have a lot on my mind, so today's blog is going to be about ME! My experiences with people who "care" about me are leading me to wish I lived in the amazon with apes! I try really hard to encourage people to be their best without bullying. Though it often doesn't translate the way I wish for it to, I never want anyone to think I'm bullying them or trying to make them feel worse about their inadequacies. There's a fine line between this recipe of motivation and destructive criticism. From today, I am pledging to do my best to filter my words so that they aren't construed as destructive criticism. It's probably obvious by now that this frustration stems from my recent experiences with this type of criticism. I think that fat people don't have room to criticize others for their weight. I think smokers don't have a leg to stand on when it comes to harassing other smokers. On a side note, WHAT GOOD do you think it does when you guilt me about my poor self esteem? Before you open your mouth, I feel bad about myself. After you speak, I feel bad about myself for feeling bad about myself. Isn't that kind of counter productive? How productive is the following statement: "I HATE it when you talk bad about yourself! It's so stupid!" COME ON! REALLY? When you have the instinct to criticize someone, you MUST first look in the mirror and make sure your hands are clean before wiping them on someone else. No one wants to be the pot! I'm tired of being the kettle. I can't think of one single person in my life that has it ALL together. Furthermore, it seems like those who are the most critical have the LEAST together. I've been there. I get it. You lack control of your own life so you try to displace your frustration onto others. Been there, done it. Tired of being the recipient. My sincerest apologies to those who who have been the recipient of mine.
On to my next frustration. Ironically, this one kind of piggybacks onto the first one in that it involves people who don't know when to stop! I get that most all of the people I'm most frustrated with have the best of intentions, but they're not serving their purpose. If you haven't seen me lately, it's because you haven't made an effort to see me. Just because you're not seeing me under the roof YOU see fit, doesn't mean you can't see me. PLEASE don't try to make me feel bad for not wishing to sit under that roof. I spent 30+ years trying to coordinate gatherings with people I care about. After countless efforts, my attempts have diminished. If you want to spend time with me, you'll find a way. It won't be in the building YOU see fit, it will be an activity we agree upon and are sure to both enjoy. I have an upcoming surgery that requires a great deal of recovery time. You want to spend time with me? My front door will be open! Meanwhile, quit insisting that the quality of my life must surely be lessened because you're not seeing me where you think I need to be. I'm not less of a person, soul, or Christian because I don't spend every waking moment within the doors of the Church. I have my own personal reasons for stepping out, and your constant prattling isn't going to compel me to step in!
It seems, however, that I have been somewhat ostracized from those people I once called family because my face isn't present every time the doors are open. I don't get paid for making people like me. I'm not going to do something I don't care to do just to be in the company of people I love. I have had my share of disappointments and poor judgement, but overall I've lived a good life and have done my best to not deliberately hurt others. I'm growing more and more tired of seeing people who haven't made such efforts being immortalized. It seems people who make really poor choices think they have to make 200 good ones for every bad one they made. How do those pats on the back feel? Do they make you feel better for once having been a jerk? All you have to do to win my heart is live right and take care of your business. Ceremonial displays of faux selflessness aren't necessary. I'd rather see you win your own battles and come out ahead!
We're not working for boyscout badges. We are called to love our neighbor, but love doesn't have to equate to "a big show". Try gaining that fame for mastering your own path.
I guess that's all for today. Thanks for reading if you've made it this far! :) Happy Monday!
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There are sick and well people everywhere, inside and outside of church. The problem: sometimes you can't tell them apart. The solution: You can love ALL PEOPLE through Christ. Sometimes this takes alot of forgiveness, open-mindedness, close-mouthedness and prayer. But it can be done.
ReplyDeleteThat's some good insight, ma! I miss our chats!
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ReplyDeleteI agree with your comment on the "big show"....Jesus didn't care for that either....I seem to remember something about Pharisses??....I also don't feel that you have to be in church every service to have a relationship with the Lord....that is and always should be a one-on-one process....some of my best times with the Lord are when we are alone...However....in the developing of the relationship we gleen knowledge that will help others and that's what it is really all about....reaching out and touching others....we are encouraged to "gather together" ...that means in a house of worship or in a home study group...I understand that there are those that almost break their arms patting themselves on the back but it's not their action that we should really be concerned with but our "reaction"....rise above them ... even when they choose to use our backs to help them up their ladders....take it to God (or write a blog about it!! LOL!!)
ReplyDeleteKeep "filtering" your words...that's something that we ALL need to work on....Like you said NONE OF US ARE PERFECT!.....And know that the "angry" little girl I met two years ago is not the same "growing" woman that I know today....(I only say "angry" because I saw so much of myself in you and I understand where the anger comes from and why) Continue to perfect yourself and if these blogs are helping with that process...then that's good for us...because they help us to see another point of view and that's always necessary in anyone's growth!
I Love You Little Girl! Always, Lisa
"Furthermore, it seems like those who are the most critical have the LEAST together. I've been there. I get it. You lack control of your own life so you try to displace your frustration onto others." This is so true. I believe this too! The very thing someone complains about one person is the very thing they dislike about themselves. There's a girl on my list on FB, she is always talking about fake people and how her life is so happy and fake people aren't going to bring her down...and so on and so on...blah, blah, blah!!!She is fake! Therefore, I had to remove her from sight because I feel, use the bathroom or get off the pot!!!(Is that how that saying goes?...lol) I like this blog. You are right, church isn't a requirement to have a relationship with Our Father, but it's nice to come together and fellowship about the Lord. Sometimes there is a message waiting just for you when you come together with fellow brother and sisters in Christ. With saying that, when church becomes a ritual instead of a means to have a Spiritual experience...there is a problem! The relationship with God is far greater than a religion explaining what is perceived about God! I pray you find a common ground as you journey through a Spiritual path with Christ!
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